Does counseling last for years?
Not necessarily. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is well-researched as a time-effective
way to help people in a variety of situations, from moving through depression and anxiety
and panic attacks, to racing thoughts, bad dreams and chronic fatigue.
Certain issues, can become so embedded they require more time. Fears, trauma or uncertainty run their own course and therapy cannot outpace the client. In situations like these healing takes time to accept and integrate new understanding.
What is clinical hypnosis? What can it do for me?
First of all, let’s clarify what clinical hypnosis is not. Clinical hypnosis is not the State Fair stage variety you may be used to seeing. No one can “make you” quack like a duck. You are in control of the entire experience.
Clinical hypnosis is one way of bypassing the left (logical) brain and entering the world of metaphor, guided imagery, suggestion and intuition. Trances are not an unnatural state. Anyone who has driven a distance and wondered how they got there was in a mild trance.
Clinical hypnosis is a focused, healing approach that utilizes the clients own insight and the power of their mind to change stubborn habits such as smoking and binge eating, to address pain, to improve performance in sports or at work.
“Any time you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem.” - Stephen R Covey
Is counseling only about “how I feel”?
No, most definitely not. Feelings are important (sometimes critical) and need to be acknowledged but beyond that, feelings are often driven by what we think and how we interpret the events happening to us.
Even at times when we feel anxious or depressed or panicked, we can often put these feelings aside if an emergency arises or a loved one requires our help.
Where does the anxiety or depression or panic go in those moments?
Cognitive psychology is about honoring feelings but at the same time, it doesn’t leave a person only feeling “understood” or “listened to”. It provides tools to change how you react to certain situations that can create the feelings that often plague us.
If you consult medical sites on the Internet and type in depression, anxiety, anger or stress management, prolonged grief, trauma, weight control, panic, you will often find cognitive therapy listed as a treatment of choice.
Do you work with childhood and adult trauma?
I have worked with a number of clients to alleviate symptoms and help them understand what happened to them from an adult perspective. I don’t work directly with children.
When people call, generally they are exhausted from running to stay one step ahead of flashbacks or depression or anxiety or unexpected nightmares over which they have little control.
Too Much, Too Soon, With Too Much Intensity! This is the way one person described what causes Post-Traumatic Stress and trauma.
Not being able to talk about it is one reason trauma can become lodged in our bodies and stay chronic.
Therapy offers a way of regulating panic and how we re-traumatize ourselves. It provides resources to gain back a sense of control. It allows us a safe space to talk where you are able to set boundaries. It creates structure to deal with the event and reframes experiences so that you see yourself as a person who has survived rather than as a victim.
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
- Persian Proverb
Why 80 minute sessions?
- For a variety of reasons …
- Meetings are less rushed.
- There is more time to explore issues at greater depth.
- There’s time for feedback from our last session and homework assignments.
- Clients maximize the time it takes to drive and disrupt busy schedules.
- Rates are competitive with others offering 50 minute sessions for the same fee.
I also work with individuals or couples for 50 minute sessions and have, on occasion worked with families or couples who want intensive work for longer blocks of time on weekends.
Do you take insurance?
Indirectly. I am considered “out of network” and bill clients at the end of every session. They pay me directly by personal check. I provide them with a receipt that has cost, dates of service, diagnosis (if required), my credentials and other pertinent information necessary to process their claim. The client submits this to the insurance company and receives direct reimbursement from their provider.
Clients also access their flexible medical savings accounts.
I encourage prospective clients to call their insurance company prior to our first meeting to explain they are considering help from an “out-of-network” provider and to ask what coverage is available.
Also, it is helpful if, at that time, they ask whether a DSM-IV code (stipulating diagnosis) is required.
Can people change?
- That depends entirely on you. My clients tend to be people who:
- are motivated to want life to be different.
- are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
- want to be pro-active in taking back control of their lives.
- know it take’s hard work and time to achieve meaningful results.
- are willing to take risks if these makes sense to them.
- aren’t content with surface change and remedial answers.
It is the individual or couple’s willingness to pursue goals even in the face of internal uncertainties or fears or external resistance that can make all the difference.
In our marriage, have we’ve tried hard enough?
Doing more isn’t necessarily working more effectively. A lot of couples will give up thinking they have done their best when all they have really done is practiced the same patterns - with more intensity. But does it make sense doing more of what hasn’t or is no longer working … expecting different results?
Marriage counseling and couple counseling changes the equation by introducing new variables. You’ll have more awareness of patterns and working assumptions, knowledge of key differences in how you and your partner see the world, systems information that can help you with new strategies and specific ‘data’ about why you resist moving your relationship forward and what is holding you back.
Marriage counseling and couple counseling that provides active and direct feedback, information you can use immediately, opportunity for supportive conversations, common sense principles that can work.
Do you specialize?
Yes and no. I work with a wide spectrum of problems because cognitive therapy and systems understandings are not issue-specific but use solid principles that apply to a variety of difficulties.
You should also know I will not treat people outside my own competency and have referred clients on a number of occasions to services better suited to their needs.
What about blended families and family therapy?
It is hard to address the needs of blended families because there are so many combinations and each situation is unique.
Family therapy works with stepfamilies and couples getting married who have children who want to be more pro-active in dealing with change.
Blended families face many issues that should not be minimized or ignored. Unrealistic expectations can lead to stress, pressure to assimilate or frustration. Here are issues stepfamilies often must deal with that family therapy addresses:
- What is the role of the stepparent who is often an ’outsider’ initially?
- Who decides the rules and how they are enforced?
- How are Christmas, graduations, vacations organized?
- How can I work better with the children’s biological parent?
- How can we stay close as a couple with competing demands and loyalties?
Family therapy assists blended families to know more of what is happening so they can take steps to make this a solid and positive transition for everyone.
Is there something we can do to make a great relationship even better?
Absolutely. There is a great deal of researched information and practical knowledge that can help couples refine their skills and develop even greater closeness. I’d be glad to refer you to useful resources and provide you with experiences and guidance for enhancing and deepening your relationship.
We are retiring soon. What can you do for us?
Proximity in time and space will be different than when careers, family and various interests kept you apart more frequently. Couples invest major time in anticipating financial challenges and creating strategies around 401k’s. Shouldn’t the relational side of the retirement equation deserve equal time or, at least, some thoughtful consideration and deliberate planning?
Do you work with high school or college students?
Yes. I have experience helping students create study schedules that work. I help them get through anxiety, depression, panic, and test performance anxiety. I also help students communicate better with their parents and assist them in discovering core strengths so they can match a great career to a good life.
Have you experience dealing with affairs and infidelity?
Yes. Emotional affairs or physical affairs can happen. Couple counseling and marriage counseling can provide a process to understand what happened, express hurt, rebuild trust and clarify issues. Affairs do not have to be the end of a marriage or relationship. Couples counseling / marriage therapy can help.
What about sports and other peak performance activities?
I am not a sports psychologist but I do know what self-talk can do to wreck a person’s sense of flow in a game. I know how perfectionism can enhance performance to a point or add pressure that is crippling and self-defeating. I know how our attitude and what we bring to the game can ruin enjoyment and drive friends away from wanting to play with us.
Cognitive therapy is effective for those who want to slow the game down, become less discouraged, get back in the game faster, bring back the joy of sport, develop mental skills to approach the game differently.
Hypnosis can also be effective improving game and practice performance by creating relaxed scenarios to insert into tense situations. It can help reduce stress (in body and mind) and create vivid images of success the mind can hold and transform into reality.
“Total concentration requires a freedom from internal distractions. The ‘mind like water’ or flow experience requires performance skills so well learned they can be done automatically. Excessive anxiety or tension from trying too hard are primary factors preventing the development of this broad external type of concentration." - Robert M Nideffer
Words of Encouragement
What inspires you, makes you think, provides a window into how change is possible?
I offer you several poems and inspiring stories that have meant a lot to me in my personal and professional journey. Perhaps these words of encouragement will touch some part of you as well.
